Don't look, Ethel

I live quite close to Chelsea football club and I witness tens of thousands of people regularly walking to and from the grounds. I am constantly mystified why they would do that: who gets any pleasure from watching football? And then I encounter a sequence such as this and it all becomes clear...

I think streakers should be an integral part of the match. Say twenty hot and horny men to be kept in a pen by the playing field and released at random intervals or when interest flags.

This chap is a particularly fine specimen, but I've no idea why the footballers appear to be so hostile to him. Have a look at the blurry crowds in the background (the first photo is clearest) and they all appear to be smiling and applauding the heroic streaker.

Maybe they are jealous of the attention he's getting, distracting the viewers from their own rather ugly features?

Or maybe it's his sheer exuberant athleticism -- perhaps none of them can do cart-wheels as stylishly as this:

Streaking. I wonder if it's too late to nominate it as an Olympic sport? We may actually secure a medal or two.